Late Night Lines

Late Night Lines? What kind of lines… I can just imagine it now the concept running through your neurotic minds. Let’s scale this all back and go simple.
Or … if your reading my blog then of course I am referring to the COAT CHECK LINE.
Yes, another line you can add to the lines that you will wait in your life time.

How long does the average American spend in their lifetime waiting in lines?
The average person spends approximately an hour a day waiting in line, which totals to about 2 to 3 years in a lifetime.
Yes I did throw that internet crazy statistic at you all.

So there are a few factors to you being in a long line at the end of the night.

Blame the band or show… yes the popularity of the band/ show that night is so bomb that everyone and their mama showed up with a coat. That is a good thing you can then throw out other connecting lines to the people in front or in back of you. And make some friends get some numbers… don’t be shy.
You decided to do the whole show with the encore..  for those who stay and stand in line with a great attitude I salute you. You SHOULD enjoy the whole show, after all you paid for it. And if its a band or something that you have wanted to see for a long time then screw your companion or friends they want to leave early.. Let them stand in line alone and get their shit. It’s funny to me that the individuals who require a companion or need groupage.. (a new word) can’t do anything alone. “What will happen to me if I wait in the coat check line by myself?”  My advice is just don’t take a drink from a stranger that looks douchy. This year I am telling people to DO YOU!  Enjoy yourself because you work hard and you gotta play hard.
You are in Line because you are not a line cutter 
You got caught trying to go right to the front and the coat checker told you that there is a line and you have to get into it before they get you your coat. The checker or security guard is just regulating and being fair. FAIR..? Yes, FAIR. Is there such a thing to the line cutters of America?, ( No ) but to the rest of us people we have to acknowledge and be grateful that the coat checker/ security has our back. It’s really messed up to see a person just cut or expect to cut when you have been putting your time in. I am a Portlandia Fan and there is a funny episode that totally goes there and here is the link .. it’s Season 2 Ep. 10 you have to watch the whole thing. I tried to find the clip to show you all but no dice so DIY it. It’s so worth it.
You are the friend who see’s your friend inline and does the line cutter roll- up. This is no better. These types of people both suck. Here is my advice… ASK! ask the people behind you if you can cut. Plead your line cutter case.. if it’s an honest one then people will usually be okay with it. Like, my friend is hella drunk and just puked.. do you all mind if I can go ahead of you? Conversation heals the nation.. WERD!
You are in line and at the very end because YOU LOST YOUR ticket. And yes, you are the special person that must wait to the very end or when there is no one in line to retrieve your item. Don’t expect the coat check person to go through every coat to find yours. When there are about 100 people behind you. You know you should have been a lot more clever and more attentive to where your ticket has been. Chalk this line up to a LIFE LESSON. Or heads up I’m not all there when I party so I’ll be smart and take a picture of it on my phone.  And, if you are told to get into the back of the line, don’t bitch. Yes, you maybe upset but take that verbal spew cuss words and use them on yourself. Nothing like the drunk/semi drunk/ entitled spiel: it’s the black one, the one that has the rip in the pocket, do you know who I am, don’t you remember me, I tipped already.. blah, blah, blah. People: that does nothing except make you look like an ASSHOLE. Take it down a 1000 and just be chill.
Magic of the line
And let’s end on a positive line experience, you never know who will cross your path. It could be someone from the band since you had to pick up your coat last. You may have that fate encounter with that special person. The universe puts you in the situations that you are supposed to be in, so use the force. Good things come to those who wait.
Until next time..




I have been working in coat check since 2006 in a few live music venues. This blog is something I have meaning to do for a long time. Enjoy!

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